A Potion To Make Everything You Touch Turn To Chocolate

Swamp water makes an excellent base for a metallical-transfiguration potion like this one. Pour about one cupsworth into your cauldron.

Next add a husk of monk's grass, this can be picked by hand in most riverside landfill sites.

Then add a whole bottle of crocodile tears, I bought this bottle in Argos, on the High Street, near the post office.

Next add about a handful of tacktillions, but obviously don't touch them with your hand, unless you want your fingers to drop off.

Finally, to activate your potion, drop in one piece of chocolate.

Dip your hand into the potion and get it coated in the juices to begin the charm.

From now on, anything you touch will turn to chocolate. From spoons, to phones, to PlayStation controllers and even laptops.