How To Brew A Super Speed Potion

September 20, 2017 6:00 AM ‐ Potions
Do you wish you could run faster than Usain Bolt or a speeding train? Then here's a potion to make you faster then lightning.

Speed is of the essence with this potion, from the moment you start making it you have exactly 60 seconds to finish.

1. Fast Flowing Water

Super Speed Potion

The first thing you'll need is some fast flowing water. From the second the first drop hits your cauldron your 60 second countdown begins. Luckily fast flowing water flows at about three times the speed of regular water, which is why it's sometimes called "triple wet", this means it can be poured much quicker.

2. Amphetamine Sulphate (C9H13N)

Super Speed Potion

Next add about half a just of amphetamine sulphate, this can be quite hard to get hold off and is technically illegal to possess, even for use in potions.

3. Windrush Leaf

Super Speed Potion

Next add a freshly picked windrush leaf, a strong smelling reed which when eaten by insects and animals causes them to speed up dramatically.

4. Industrial Lubricant

Super Speed Potion

Then you'll need some industrial lubricant like WD40, spray a could of spray's worth into your cauldron, I like to give the nozzle a quick "rat-a-tat tat."

5. Merciman's Fruit

Super Speed Potion

Finally add in one pulped merciman's fruit, the merciman usually produces fruit in spring but the fruit is usually available from specialist retailers all year round.

6. Stir Well

Super Speed Potion

Using a spoon or stick of your choice, stir well your mixture well.

7. Pour Into Running Shoes

Super Speed Potion

Pour one spoonful of the potion into each of your favourite running shoes, including both the left and right shoe elements.

8. Freeze

Super Speed Potion

Next place your running shoes in the freezer and wait for 24 hours to give the potion time to solidify and bed in.

9. Ready?

Super Speed Potion

Once your shoes are ready, slip them on and enjoy your new super speed which should last for about seven Earth days.

10. Uses

Super Speed Potion

You can use your new power to deliver pizza at high speeds thus guaranteeing you an excellent tip, and to travel across the country, mainly via corn fields.

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