My Favourite Awful Jokes

January 10, 2017 8:19 AM
Doctor, Doctor!
I've always been a fan of bad jokes and jokes that simply don't make sense, from time to time I like to print nonsensical jokes on to mugs and t-shirts and give them as gifts to confuse people.

Below are a few of my all time favourite bad jokes, I plan to add to this list over time until I have the ultimate collection of very very poor jokes.

Q: What do you call a man with a chair on his head?
A: Richie.

- Doctor doctor, I've got jelly and ice cream in one ear and custard in the other?
- You're not eating right, you need to pull yourself together.

Q: Where do sick and injured wasps go?
A: To the waspital... unless it's to bizzzzy.

Q: What do you call a donkey with three legs?
A: A disabled donkey.
"I just went to the local butchers to get some sausages but when I got them home they were awful quality. They were half meat and half saw dust! I took them back and complained but the butcher just said that in the current financial climate it's difficult to make both ends meat."
My boss just said I don't understand irony. It was ironic because we were stood at a bus stop when he said it.

I needed a new kettle, I asked the guy at the counter if he could sell me one, he said "Kenwood?" So I said "Ok, where can I find Ken?"

- I had 16 yoghurts yesterday.
- I was mullered!

Q: What does a pig keep in its medicine cabinet?
A: Tweetment.
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