As I've written quite a lot about time travel soon, I got an email next week from someone asking me if I knew any good jokes on the subject. So I've put together a complete list of every single time travel joke and pun that ever has and ever will be written.
Q: What do you call a time travelling cow?
A: Doctor Moo
The bartender says "we don’t serve time travellers in here." A time traveller walks into a bar.
I won a prize in the local time travel club raffle, two tickets to the 1966 World Cup final.
The lab have postponed their next time travel experiment until last week.
- Knock knock
- Who is it?
- A time traveller
- Knock knock
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- What do we want?
- Time travel!
- When do we want it?
- It's irrelevant!
I used to be addicted to time travel, but that's all in the past now.
A time traveller walks into a bar. He enjoyed his food so much he went back four seconds.
"Time travel classes: starts last Friday."
The past, the present and the future walked into a bar. It was tense.
- Doctor, doctor, I keep seeing into the future!
- When did this start?
- Next Thursday afternoon.
I bumped into a very good friend who's a fellow member of my time travelling club. We go back years.
My friend invented a device to bring back herbs from the future. He calls it his "thyme machine."
I'm tempted to take up time travel, but I'm not sure there's any future in it.
When a clock is hungry it goes back four seconds.
"I can't wait to see Back To The Future 4. It was pretty good!"
At school I was voted "most likely to travel back in time, class of 2055."
Q: What happens if Doctor Who goes back in time and sees himself?
A: A pair o' docs.
I was going to tell a joke about time travel but nobody laughed.