The funniest and best jokes about the mermaids and life under the sea, plus fishy one-liners and the finest mermaid puns.
Q: Why do mermaids always know their weight?
A: They have their own scales.
Q: What does a mermaid wear to maths class?
A: An alge-bra.
Q: What did the mermaid she shaking at the bottom of the ocean?
A: A nervous wreck.
Q: Why was the mermaid embarrassed?
A: She saw the ship's bottom.
Q: Where does a mermaid sleep?
A: A waterbed.
Q: Why did the mermaid swim across the ocean?
A: To get to the other tide.
Q: Where do mermaids see movies?
A: At the dive in.
Q: Where does a mermaid keep her money?
A: In a riverbank.
Q: Why don't mermaids play tennis?
A: They might get caught in the net.
Q: Why do mermaids live in saltwater?
A: Because pepper makes them sneeze.
Q: How did the octopus make the mermaid laugh?
A: Ten tickles.
Q: Why was the mermaid at the bottom of the ocean?
A: She dropped out of school.
Q: Why did the mermaid look the other way?
A: Because the seaweed.
Q: How do you communicate with a mermaid?
A: Drop her a line.
Q: What part of a mermaid weighs the most?
A: The scales.
Q: Why won't oysters lend money to mermaids?
A: Because they're shellfish.
Q: Where did the fisherman and mermaid meet?
A: On line.
Q: What did the mermaid say to the rock pool?
A: Show me your mussels.
Q: What did the sea say to the mermaid?
A: Nothing, it just waved.
Q: What do you call a mermaid with a chair on her head?