The Ultimate List Of Mermaid Jokes, Puns & One-Liners

March 03, 2018 6:00 AM ‐ Mermaids

The funniest and best jokes about the mermaids and life under the sea, plus fishy one-liners and the finest mermaid puns.

Mermaid
Q: Why do mermaids always know their weight?
A: They have their own scales.

Q: What does a mermaid wear to maths class?
A: An alge-bra.

Q: What did the mermaid she shaking at the bottom of the ocean?
A: A nervous wreck.

Q: Why was the mermaid embarrassed?
A: She saw the ship's bottom.

Q: Where does a mermaid sleep?
A: A waterbed.
Ariel Is A Weasley

Q: Why did the mermaid swim across the ocean?
A: To get to the other tide.

Q: Where do mermaids see movies?
A: At the dive in.

Q: Where does a mermaid keep her money?
A: In a riverbank.

Q: Why don't mermaids play tennis?
A: They might get caught in the net.

Q: Why do mermaids live in saltwater?
A: Because pepper makes them sneeze.
Ariel Is Amazed By A Fork

Q: How did the octopus make the mermaid laugh?
A: Ten tickles.

Q: Why was the mermaid at the bottom of the ocean?
A: She dropped out of school.

Q: Why did the mermaid look the other way?
A: Because the seaweed.

Q: How do you communicate with a mermaid?
A: Drop her a line.

Q: What part of a mermaid weighs the most?
A: The scales.
Ariel Has Legs

Q: Why won't oysters lend money to mermaids?
A: Because they're shellfish.

Q: Where did the fisherman and mermaid meet?
A: On line.

Q: What did the mermaid say to the rock pool?
A: Show me your mussels.

Q: What did the sea say to the mermaid?
A: Nothing, it just waved.

Q: What do you call a mermaid with a chair on her head?
A: Richie
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