The Ultimate List Of Zombie Jokes, Puns & One-Liners

June 06, 2018 6:00 AM

This article is more than four years old and was last updated in August 2020.

The funniest and best jokes about zombies, plus zombie apocalypse one-liners and the finest undead puns.

Zombie
Q: What is black, white and red all over?
A: A nun being eaten by zombies.

Q: When do zombies go to sleep?
A: When they are dead tired.

Q: When do zombies go to sleep?
A: When they are dead tired.

Q: Why did the zombie do so well in his exam?
A: Because it was a no brainer.
Zombie Memes

Q: Where do most zombies live?
A: On dead end streets.

Q: What do you call a bee that never dies?
A: A zombee.

Q: Where do zombies go swimming?
A: The Dead Sea.

Q: Why did the zombie lose an argument?
A: He had no leg to stand on.

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Zombie Memes

Q: What did the zombie do after he dumped his girlfriend?
A: He wiped his bum.

Q: What is a zombie's favourite shampoo?
A: Head & Shoulders.

Q: Why did the zombie ignore all his Facebook friends?
A: He was still digesting all of his followers on Twitter.

Q: What's a zombies favourite bean?
A: A human bean.
Q: Why can you always find a zombie at Subway?
A: Because they like to 'eat flesh.'

Q: What do you get when you cross a zombie with a snowman?
A: Frostbite.

Q: Why did the zombie comedian get booed off stage?
A: Because the jokes he told where rotten.

Q: Do zombies eat brains with their fingers?
A: No, they eat the fingers separately.
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